Thursday, October 23, 2008

The State of the Mill Address




My fellow Millers, Distinguished Guests and Diplomats, and of course my Fantasy wife, Natalie Portman. I love you honey.

This Blog makes about as much Sense as a 700 billion dollar bailout. 

We are facing some harsh realities. Tampa Bay is in the Fall Classic, which if they win I think it should be renamed the "Fall What the F****". Eli Manning is not living in a home with others of similar handicaps. An Arizona Cardinals fan is running for the Presidency of the United States. And A-Rod Still sucks, and he is purportedly dating that gapped tooth whore Madonna. Lower levels of Little League Continue to not keep score leading to the pussification of American Youth.

But there is still hope... It seems as though that Orenthal James Simpson may finally be going to jail. We will just have to wait and see what type of SUV Al Cowlings is driving now. Who knows, in these unsure times he might even be driving a Prius or Perhaps a Ford Escape hybrid. These are things I am sure California law enforcement will let us know when the Time is appropriate.

These are tough times my Fellow millers. With there being so much sports to consume you ask me where do I turn to? ESPN? CBS? FOX? or perhaps NBC? Well I am here to tell you that no one should ever have to turn to NBC for sports coverage... Quite frankly that would be Un-American. Turning to NBC is like someone other than family and Friends attending a WNBA game. So in these tough times, in these... trying times of ours, I encourage you to "Just Say NO!" Just Say no to NBC and there coverage of the Mountain Dew Action Sports Tour. To pay any attention to this type of Sports coverage would be like giving a sense of legitimacy to the Bush Doctrine, because I personally believe the President should be able to define the word DOCTRINE before having one.

Let me leave you with this my dear Millers: Yes times are hard. Brady Quinn is in the NFL and yes he has commercial endorsement deals, but god willing he will go the way of some many other professional athletes... Getting caught in the bad part of town in the back seat of his Escalade with a pre-op tranny with his pants down. We will weather the storm, our resolve is strong, the Titans will not go undefeated, and the Bruins will suck yet again.

Good Night, and god bless the Mill.



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