Tales from Aisle 9 (Reprise)

Yinzers,

If you want to know how old a tree is, cut it down and count the rings.
If you want to know how old the earth is, take a core sample and analyze it.
If you want to see a cross-section of America, work at an old-time hardware store.

Saturday is supposed to be a laid-back, easy-going day at the store. Much to my surprise, that was not the case this morning. Around 9:00 am, I was outside trying to enjoy a nice cool breeze blowing down 7th avenue in Beaver Falls considering it has been in the high 90s for the past five days. I see a man across the street on a bicycle, he looks over and waves, so I do the natural thing and wave back. He rides across the street and rolls up to the store front and asks me “How do I get to route 17?”

“State route 17? I really do not know which road is actually state route 17,” I say.
“Well, can we look it up on MapQuest? I’m trying to get to Atlanta, GA.”
So I throw this guy a bottle of water because he was parched and we go to Google maps and print him out a set of directions to go to Atlanta, it will only take him 3 days if he rides nonstop. So I get a little curious…why would someone ride a bicycle from Beaver Falls, PA to Atlanta, GA? So I asked him and his response blew me away.

“Well, I started from Seattle, WA and I’m going to Atlanta, GA to meet up with this girl I met on MySpace. We’ve been talking for about 10 years now and the distance is a little ridiculous, so I’m going to go finally meet her in person. I been on this bike for 59 days now. Rode through the mountains and stuff, it was a rough trip. I just don’t know how to get to Atlanta from here.”
The only response I could muster up was “I hope that works out for you…” Twenty-three pages later, he had his route via the Miami Trail through West Virginia.

I can’t make this shit up.

This world is full of _____________. (Fill in the blank).
B Brog