Tales from Aisle 9

Yinzers,

Today's tale is not a tale, but a lesson. The lesson is that you never, under any circumstances, accuse your clerk of trying to pull a fast one on you because you are too ignorant to realize that they are helping you. Here's the story:

An older gentleman-probably in his late 60s-comes into the store today and hands me a handful of hardware. One 1/4" lag screw, one 10-24x2" machine screw, one 10-24 hex nut and one #8x1/2" self-drilling screw. "I need all of these in stainless, by the box if you got 'em." So I take the man back to the nuts and bolts aisles, directly to the section devoted entirely to stainless steel and begin pulling product. I hand him a box of machine screws, a box of nuts, a box of lag screws and a box of self-drilling screws. He opens each one as if I were lying to him and puts his key chain magnet in each box (stainless steel is only mildly magnetic). When he places the magnet into the self-drilling screws, a few of them stick to it. "These aren't stainless," he says.
"Yes they are sir, what's wrong?"
"They stick to the magnet, they can't possibly be stainless."
"Yes they are sir, I can guarantee you that."
"I don't think so son, they stick to the magnet, they aren't stainless."
"I realize they stick to the magnet, but they are stainless. I am 100% positive and that's because they just came off the truck on Tuesday. They are brand new, stainless screws."
After about five or six volleys of him essentially calling me a liar, he put the screws back and refused to buy them and then left abruptly in what I could only describe as ignorant frustration.

So the lesson is, if someone who knows their stuff helps you, be grateful. Do not treat them like they are inferior to yourself. That also goes for those younger than you. I am tired of getting treated like a child by customers. If you have that much of a superiority complex, don't ask me for help.

B Brog

Mike Mar-chen-ski.

Yinzer History moment of the Week.

Enjoy!

Summer Vacation

Yinzers,

Soooo, most of our staff( Brian and Truck not included) are on Summer Vacation. I would apologise for the lack of Blog - but really what they hell are we going to blog about - the Pirates?

Big Steeler news today was that the Rooney's locked up Joe Cool for another 3 years. I still want to see what he can do with this team. I know that the Steelers are not picked to do anything this year and that is right where we want them.

Penguins are picking up allot of semi-no name rs right now- I am sure that there will be like twenty penguins previews in the weeks to come.

We also are putting together a college football preview along with the 4th annual steeler preview. We also would like to know from our 7 readers what you would like to read about this fall. Please leave comments and ideas and we will respond.

Surviving the summa,

Wade

Pittsburgh Bound

Hola Yinz,

I am so excited; I am Pittsburgh Bound!!! I'm most excited about going to Kennywood! I'm looking forward to riding the new Coaster, the Sky Rocket. I'm wondering how it will hold up to coasters of the past. My personal favorite was the Steel Phantom...What's yours??? Leave me a comment, let me know.

This is a video of the new Sky Rocket. Check it out!

Happy Summer!!

Labuda on the Left Coast

Tales from Aisle 9 (Reprise)

Yinzers,

If you want to know how old a tree is, cut it down and count the rings.
If you want to know how old the earth is, take a core sample and analyze it.
If you want to see a cross-section of America, work at an old-time hardware store.

Saturday is supposed to be a laid-back, easy-going day at the store. Much to my surprise, that was not the case this morning. Around 9:00 am, I was outside trying to enjoy a nice cool breeze blowing down 7th avenue in Beaver Falls considering it has been in the high 90s for the past five days. I see a man across the street on a bicycle, he looks over and waves, so I do the natural thing and wave back. He rides across the street and rolls up to the store front and asks me “How do I get to route 17?”

“State route 17? I really do not know which road is actually state route 17,” I say.
“Well, can we look it up on MapQuest? I’m trying to get to Atlanta, GA.”
So I throw this guy a bottle of water because he was parched and we go to Google maps and print him out a set of directions to go to Atlanta, it will only take him 3 days if he rides nonstop. So I get a little curious…why would someone ride a bicycle from Beaver Falls, PA to Atlanta, GA? So I asked him and his response blew me away.

“Well, I started from Seattle, WA and I’m going to Atlanta, GA to meet up with this girl I met on MySpace. We’ve been talking for about 10 years now and the distance is a little ridiculous, so I’m going to go finally meet her in person. I been on this bike for 59 days now. Rode through the mountains and stuff, it was a rough trip. I just don’t know how to get to Atlanta from here.”
The only response I could muster up was “I hope that works out for you…” Twenty-three pages later, he had his route via the Miami Trail through West Virginia.

I can’t make this shit up.

This world is full of _____________. (Fill in the blank).
B Brog

Penn State Phryday

Yinzers,

Just two news items for the Nittany Lions at this point in the summer. Item number one, the eighth annual 'Lift for Life' strength competition takes place today at 1:30 in Holuba Hall. I attended this event last year and it is very impressive to say the least. Think of the 'MetRx World's Strongest Man' competition...just all Nittany Lion linemen. All sales for the event and proceeds go to the Kidney Cancer Association. About 90 Nittany Lions will be competing in teams of 20 to raise pounds and cash. Last year, just over $80,000 was taken in. It is another great way to get to know the team before they take the field and see some amazing feats of strength and speed.

Item number two is the academic integrity of Penn State's football team. This year, 40 Nittany Lion football players graduated with a 3.0 or higher. What's that USC? Pete Carrol only cared if you could run a 40 yard dash at 4.0? Ah, good luck in real life when you aren't playing in bowl games for the next two years.

56 days, kids...56 days.

For the Glory,

B Brog

Tales from Aisle 9

Yinzers,

The question is: "How many hardware store employees does it take to get a house sparrow out of a 60 year old store?" The answer would be 3 + 2 leaf rakes + a 25"X25"X1" furnace filter and it takes about 15 tries. There was a house sparrow on the loose, running wild through the aisles of Kelly Hardware, taunting us by walking on the ground just out of reach and then taking flight as we extend for a capture. Eventually, the flying foe was forced out the front door, though none of us knew how it got in.

On another note, there was a phantom cyclist who crashed a 15 speed mountain bike into a parked car at 3:30 am. Upon viewing the security camera, it was realized that the bicycle had no rider. Apparently the bicycle was pushed down the side street at a high rate of speed before it careened over the curb and into a parked car, cracking the driver's side mirror and breaking the door handle. Upon further review, there were two shady dudes walking lazily on the main road just after the bike flew across the screen. The perps? We do not know.

Way to go Beaver Falls. You never fail to keep me guessing.

B Brog